I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize