Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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