So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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