Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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