im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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