i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize