Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
