I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
