Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize