i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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