after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
