So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I didn't notice because vodka
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
