they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
