White coat. Heels.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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