Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
