I think my fart just growled at me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
