just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
