Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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