I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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