He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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