we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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