so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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