I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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