i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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