I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
