What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
