bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
