I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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