Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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