I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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