I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
