It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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