I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
