hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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