yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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