Acid is not a monday night drug
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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