Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
