a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
