i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
