does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize