Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
being pregnant is like rehab
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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