I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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