farters have to be the big spoon...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
