I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
