Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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