Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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