Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
