You're so nebulous sometimes
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
