the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
