I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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