I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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