I think i peed on brittanys purse
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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