i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sponge bath it is.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
