I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't turn off my feet"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
