I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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