my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
