I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
whose parrot is this?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
