batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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