I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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