That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
